Having recently talked with a dear friend about art my mind is rejuvenated on how all things in life are beautiful. In making brunch this morning I recall the movie, Perfect Sense, in which a scientist and chef fall in love when an outbreak effects the senses. When you look at food its best to appeal to the eye, enjoy a nice crunch to appease the ears, have a variety of texture and flavor for taste and touch, and an enjoyable aroma that altogether you just want to nestle with.
Some days when I go through life I forget about how something so small, is actually so large. The things we take for granted like walking, reading, having our voice be heard, birds chirping to remind us of life, and even something as relaxing as going to the bathroom in peace. There are so many things in our everyday that because we experience them regularly we have somehow become numb to them.
And in a movie I more recently watched, Becoming Jane, a young woman is reminded that “Nothing destroys spirit like poverty” but in some cultures poverty actually strengthens the mind and soul in a way that wealth cannot. But with that being said, when we have the strength of our loved ones to remind us of the beauty we hold in our hearts and minds, I am unsure that a spirit could ever waver. So whether we have wealth or not, we must remain attached to the person we wish to be.
I am so lucky to have friends that live their lives by their hearts and not the money in their hands. I have lived so long in a world controlled by money, I wish to live a more simple life. In many ways it is not something we can escape, but I think there is peace in a more basic sense of life. I have felt this way for some time now, and maybe it is due to living a few years in a world of constant innovation, but as time passes I realize that I want a more simple home so that I may be wild and free during my adventures.
I thought for a long time what I wanted was independence from a man, but what I really want is self-reliance. I want to know that I am capable of making my own supplies, growing my own food, protecting myself in dangerous situations, and maintaining a sincere heart. I want to understand the world around me more than the people who inhabit it.
I spend a lot of time wondering if I am a bad artist or a good one. Deciding whether I have wasted my time or if I am really discovering new things without work. But I have come to realize that the mind is the most important tool we will ever use, and without its development we cannot develop our work by the means of other utensils. Many days I spend wondering if my education was all for not and if time has stolen some of the lessons from my mind. And other days, like today, I am reminded that they have just been stored in a place I have not travelled to in some time.
I am optimistic for the future. I am grateful for those that have helped to guide me. And I am inescapably indebted to my husband for showing me the light when I thought there was nothing but darkness ahead.