I made this decision to be happy. I made this decision because it needed to be done a long time ago, but the time was never right. And the time is still not right now. But what I do know and is very difficult to understand is that I sincerely love Jacob. I don’t know how it is possible to love two people at once, but I know it is possible or I wouldn’t be in the situation I am. If I did not love Jacob then it would be easy to go back but I don’t want to live that life. I want to live this life. I want to move around, have kids, I want to watch my kids to play in the dirt and chase around bugs, I want to clean them up and show them how important hygiene is. I want to take my kids on adventures and show them the beauty of the earth. I want my children to be little hippies with me. And when they grow I don’t mind what they are a skater, a jock, a geek, but what they will be are a gentleman and a lady. They will be well rounded individuals and understand that hard work and sacrifice is necessary to have a happy life. I want to spend time in the woods talking about the beauty of the atmosphere and world in which we live. There is so much I want to experience and the person at my side I want to have the same mindset I do about it. So that every moment can be captured in the ways I have imagined. Life is not perfect and life is not fair. We do not always get what we want, but we can always increase our skills to do so. We will never be able to change our personalities though, that is who we are. I have tried to change mine this past year. It’s obvious it’s not possible no matter how hard we try. So finding someone that sees life in the same way is the someone I want to spend the rest of my life with.


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