I hate the feeling that I can’t speak my mind, share my feelings, or have the conversations I want with people. I hate that I have all these thoughts, opinions, and things in general I need and want to share with other people, but haven’t. There is so much that I want to say, but it has gotten to the point to where I don’t know what to say and what not to say. What is ridiculous and what is spot on. I am so mentally tired from dealing with people’s shit and I just wish everyone could be honest. But then again it goes back to the whole it’s all about what you ask and what you don’t. And all the questions I have or statements i want to tell people are all topics that would never come up in regular conversation. Maybe it’s just one of those times where my thoughts an feelings are inaccurate of the situation, but I still hate these thoughts and feelings.. When will these things be solved and will they ever. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have a heart or a mind.. Sometimes I wish I were just a robot.. And other days I feel like I am just that. Absolutely nothing but present and taking the beating of others just to stay alive.