I have always said I would rather be broke and happy, then rich and unhappy. And for once in my life I understand what its like to be happy and broke. But there are many things money makes easier. I have been lazy for art due to the cost of my ideas. I am now more concerned with when a bill is due and what I will sacrifice to pay it. Its difficult for me to multitask. I have always realized that I am terrible at multitasking, but I believe its a serious flaw and I would like to increase my ability to actually do it.
I guess there are a lot of questions I have to ask myself, but I won’t ask them. And I am uncomfortable with sharing my thoughts. I am hoping that in May when school has subsided life will get loose.
It has been probably 4 years since I have felt this way. They are not so much butterflies as they are curiosities, adventures yet discovered, a sense of being anxious, almost living again and being pushed for my own life.
Definitely nervous. But I like that I shake so much.